World Mental Health Day 2020

It’s world mental health day!

I have not published a word on here since this exact day last year, but it seems to be the perfect time to start again.

Mental health is so important, especially in the current climate - there should be a mental health week. Or a month. WE NEED MORE THAN A DAY! But I’m glad there's at least this day, and thus the awareness only grows.

It’s also a good day for a few important reminders:

1. Mental health is just as important as physical health. So many of us pay attention to our physical wellbeing, but not enough of us give our mental health the importance it needs.

2. Stop assuming that people with a mental disorder can ‘get over it’ or ‘just think positive’

3. It’s just therapy guys. No one shames anyone for seeking medical help for a physical problem - it should be the same for seeking mental health help. You’re not “off your rocker” or “absolutely crazy” for going to therapy. Everyone (ESPECIALLY NOW!!) needs therapy. Try it!

4. Learn about empathy. PLEASE. Saying you’re sorry, or that you feel bad for someone for being depressed does nothing for them. A kinder approach is creating the capacity to try and understand how they feel. A little empathy goes a long way. You can be the happiest person on this planet, and still, try & empathize with someone who struggles.

5. Just because someone does not look depressed/anxious all the time doesn’t mean they don't struggle with it. Sometimes it's not a constant, sometimes it phases. And many times - it’s just an effort to be happy around people they love because they don't want to be a burden.

6. t’s just MEDICATION. If you’re going to take a Panadol for a headache, it’s okay if someone takes an antidepressant for depression. Don't ask them 500 questions about it, and don’t make it a thing they need to be ashamed of.

7. Stop shaming men for being vulnerable and seeking help. Stop asking women to have patience, endure or tolerate the life they have.

And of course - the most obvious one - STOP the stigma. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a mental disorder (ugh, that word though) and absolutely nothing wrong with seeking help. Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Uncomfortable conversations can save lives, so create safe spaces, have open minds, and drop the judgements.

Ok Ok - thanks for coming to my Ted talk!

World Mental Health Day

Last year on October 10th - on World Mental Health day, I wrote a blog about my own mental health struggles. That blog had been weeks in the making. I must have rewritten and edited it several times. I remember fussing over each sentence - and always wondering if I would ever share. It was expected though - I was having anxiety when I was about to share that I have anxiety!

Looking back now, perhaps I didn’t need to be so anxious. Pretty much everyone I know, struggles with some form of their mental health. But at that point of time - no one I personally knew had said anything about it. I was scared of people thinking I was faking this. Or looking for attention. Or just creating an air of drama. Because many a times - people who struggle with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder - have heard these responses in return to their confessions. Point being - it was difficult to share such a vulnerable part of me, but I am so glad I did. I got several messages in response of people thanking me for saying something about an issue that does not have enough of a voice - especially in a place like Dubai, where mental health awareness is only now picking up attention within the general population.

In the past year though, I have seen a few initiatives being set up. I’ve had many ideas of how I could help, fight the stigma - but if I’m being completely honest - haven’t had the courage to carry them out. It’s still shameful. Or at least, I am still ashamed. I talk about it a lot more openly now. Share posts and stories that reflect these positive messages. Consider myself as part of the collective voice. Debunk as many false ideas as I can, amongst strangers on the internet, amongst friends and family too. However, becoming the face of a mental health campaign required me to dig so deep within that I pretty much couldn’t. Sitting with this reality - I was harsh with myself. Calling myself lazy and a coward. But with loads of work and patience, I learnt that everything is in due time. Right now, I don’t need to be the frontrunner for everything mental health related, but rather work a little bit more internally, as I join hands and the voices of people who are ready to get up and do something about it.

Despite the negative self talk and the fear of being judged - I did start a small initiative close to my heart - and called it Sukoon. It means peace in Urdu, and always though it is as such a calming word. Sukoon is a safe space - for people who struggle with mental health issues, to gather in a space outdoors and go through a short yoga practice I can lead them through. If willing, members are free and even encouraged to share some of their thoughts and daily battles. Sharing or speaking or engaging is not necessary though. I always understand why it might be too big of a leap, or just not the right time for people to talk about something so difficult. I want to be able to provide them a space where they can still come together, and find people who they know are in a similar boat. I want to offer them a positive, healthy activity ( a yoga practice ) which they can do as they breathe the fresh air outdoors. Being outdoors, physical movement - and deep breaths are some of the best ways to calm our minds, battle with daily anxiety and bouts of depression. Since I’m a yoga teacher, and understand the downs of mental health - I thought to combine these elements and create Sukoon.

It’s been on hold during the summer though. If you live in Dubai, you know how unbearable it can be outdoors - and I truly wanted the outdoor element in Sukoon. Perhaps being outside with a cool breeze is one of my favorite things. Even as I write this, I’m sitting in my balcony. It’s not winter yet - but I can feel the air turning crisp - and my heart jumping with delight.

International Mental Health day is a day close to my heart - and you can probably understand why. Even though there is so much conversation now about it in the west - we in the east are still falling behind. I truly believe that the stigma and the shame are even more aggravated in our South Asian culture. It’s just not considered a real thing - and your faith is weak if you are feeling this way. However, what our culture fails to understand is the basics of some of these illnesses - if your brain is not creating certain chemicals - then you don’t medical attention. Depression is considered drama. Anxiety is considered as being weak. And Bipolar is described as being downright crazy. “She’s bipolar I heard” - it’s usually said in a hushed tone with judgmental eyes. I’ve wanted to retaliate and say something in return, but often at times - statements like these comes from people close to me, so I usually murmur my response and walk away.

Today, I look back at the past year and see how much I have grown. It has perhaps been the best year of my adult life in terms of my mental health. I sought help. I allowed myself to be just a little more vulnerable and work on all the things I had been avoiding for a long time. I found my voice (albeit not always - but mostly) to be able to speak about these issues on my own platform, and amongst people as well. It has been a year of many discomforts but tremendous growth. And of course, I don’t think it’d have been possible if there wasn’t a shift in the way people viewed mental health, and if the conversation hadn’t grown over the past year as well. And to all the people in my corner - you know who you are - thank you for taking the time to learn and grow along with me.

To finally end this very long blog - it’s not all about reflecting back. I’m also looking ahead - to this day next year. And I hope for the conversation to only get louder, for people to drop the umbrella of shame, for my community and my society to step outside their narrow views and actually see the truth about mental health. This might take longer than a year - but we can always try. One step at a time. And as Dory sums it up - in 3 simple words - “Just keep swimming”.

Nilaya House

They say home is where the heart is - and one of the places that always feel like home is Nilaya House.

The shala I am so happy and grateful to be part of - first as a student, and then as a teacher.

It’s the community of the Mysore room, that is key to keeping me motivated to practice. The beauty of Ashtanga yoga is that you can carry it wherever you go - and when I’ve been away, the practice has indeed come along with me. However, spending those hours in a room full of other practitioners - all of us on a very similar journey - fills me with the bliss and I find the comfort of home each day.

A Mysore room is not known for its chatter. When someone unrolls their mat next to you - there isn’t any conversation. Perhaps just a knowing exchange and a smile as we all continue on with our practice. Some of us arrive early - when the sun hasn’t even risen. Some arrive a little later - after school drop-offs. And some - arrive for an evening practice. We do our yoga practice in the same sun-filled spacious room upstairs, but sometimes don’t get to speak to each other for weeks. This, however, doesn’t mean we are strangers. We know we are part of the same community here at Nilaya, and should we actually cross each other's paths in the change room or on the way out - there is always a friendly exchange, even if it’s just a courteous hello. It’s not about arriving or leaving at different times - it’s about showing up. When I wake up at an ungodly hour, still tired after a night of disturbed sleep (thanks to my nocturnal as hell, but super cute cat) all I want to do is switch off that alarm, roll over and hope for some sleep in my warm bed. But knowing - just knowing - that my teacher is at the shala and that there are other people who have made their morning journey and are in the midst of this devout practice - helps me rise, shine - and make my way to practice. The dedication of the collective community is contagious. You just have to walk through the doors to remember the love of yoga. There hasn’t been a single time, that I have unrolled my mat on those dark wooden floors and regretted showing up.

It’s the love and dedication to this practice, that is the common silent bond between all of us. We arrive, we breathe, we grow - not only for ourselves but quietly for each other as well. There is a hard to describe comfort, in seeing the familiar faces each morning. Knowing we are all different, but one in this process of yoga.

Even when we don’t always get the opportunity to speak to each other - the wordless ties of community is always present. Sometimes, just in the form of a kind smile, moving our mat to create space for someone who has just arrived, or sharing that same feeling of being grateful - for this practice, for this space, and of course, for our ever-present devoted teachers.

The beauty of community though - is that we all do eventually come together. Perhaps on the weekend in a led class, a workshop, or a celebration of the shala. On those days, exchanges between us are easy and friendly. Even though we might not have known each other's name prior to our conversation - we know we aren’t strangers either. That’s another element of having a community at the shala - even in the not knowing , we all still know one and other.

I am sure, I am not alone with being thankful to have someone to practice next to, and to have an entire community of fellow students day in and day out. I have read countless blogs and social media posts on how sole practitioners can struggle, and this makes my heart 100 times more grateful for the space and community we have to share. I have had several weeks of home practice, and even though the devotion and love remain the same, it is so much easier to find an excuse. To not do what is most important. To distract, to give up - and to ignore. There is no comparison of the shared energy of students and teacher in the Mysore room. The vibration of the opening chant always warms my heart and gives me goosebumps.

Without saying a single word, every student present in the shala encourages me. It is encouraging to know we all have highs and lows, or strengths and weaknesses. It is encouraging to know that despite the occasional hardships of life in general - we all do our best to create the time and space in our day to make our way to Nilaya for the this special practice of Ashtanga Yoga that binds us together.

Nilaya House, home of Ashtanga Yoga Dubai - is an oasis for many. You can always feel the soft soothing energy of the space. The deep blue walls, minimalistic natural design and and lovely decor, all combine to create a calming and welcoming space. Each time I step inside, as a student or a teacher - I am grateful than the time before. Thank you to my teacher, and all the fellow students of Nilaya House, for helping to create a pleasant, positive and welcoming home for several of us.